Post Palau, Almost 3 Months

Whoa.
Almost 3 whole months post-Palau. You guys are probably sick of seeing these posts. For those strong enough to bear with me, I appreciated it. It's a process.

It has been bitter and sweet. There have been nights of tears and reminiscing, and days when we are so happy we are just a road trip away from family and Chipotle (& Target).

I'm still working on making our house feel like "home" but it's taking me a long time because I'm focused on SCHOOL! The first few weeks of school are busy! I definitely also came down with the nastiest sinus/allergy thing and it was not fun, but I'm hanging in there. So I'm trying to stay patient about the house, knowing that I'll have more time to give it some love and attention AFTER I get in to the swing of things at school. (I HOPE!)

Back to the re-entry processing. It almost feels like an out-of-this-world experience. You travel so far, do things you've never done, give your heart in ways you didn't know you could, and make relationships with people that will forever tug on your heartstrings. And then you leave. It feels SO FAR AWAY. And it kinda is... If you're lucky, you might live close to people that you served with, and even if you don't live close, life has its sweet moments that will bring you back together again. But never the whole group. Never the way that it was. THAT is really hard.

Palau is literally in the back of my mind every single day. I don't know if there will ever be a day when it isn't. It's weird to always have this place on your mind...

As far as being a teacher back in the states... I don't think I was very well prepared for that. I came from a very simple, but wonderful classroom. I made the best of what I had and rocked it. I LOVED my classroom (and students of course). Now in my classroom there is too MUCH stuff! I'm overwhelmed with materials and programs and half a dozen curriculums that need to be integrated. It's been a bit much for me. Pray folks.

Our new church has given Joey and I the opportunity to share our stories about Palau in October. By then we will have been back for 4 months. This will be the first time that I would have shared about Palau in a way like this and I honestly don't know what I'll say. I know it's still a ways out, but please keep us in prayer as we share our love story about Palau in October. And if you want to come, please let me know and I'll gladly tell you the day and time!

So that's my supposed to be two-month blog, but I waited too long and now it's a three-month re-entry post.

Night for now.
Rachel

Post Palau, Week 1

Last week marked a week since I left Palau. I have thought of it every day. 

It pops in my mind when I see the ABUNDANCE of fresh fruit at the grocery store, when I take my hot shower every day, and pretty much every time I'm in a crowded place.  

The hardest and most common question I’ve gotten since I’ve been back has been: 

How was Palau? 

That’s a loaded question. Where do I even begin? Usually this question comes in passing and theres no WAY I could tell you all about Palau in just a matter of seconds. So my short answer is this: it was a beautiful, challenging, biggest growing experience I’ve had in my life yet, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. 

After the first question usually comes the second one, 

How do I feel?

That’s another loaded question. I’ve felt angry, sad, and anxious. There have been moments when I've felt a little bit like a stranger in my own place. Sometimes its a little bit lonely and you wish that you could bring Palau to your family and friends so that they could truly understand what you’re feeling.  

One thing is for certain, this past week has been a whirlwind.

My family picked us up at the airport with their big smiles and welcome back sign. They’re so cute. We took lots of pictures and talked all over each other like hispanics do and it was fantastic. :) We went to bed way past midnight and woke up at lunch time the next day. Hello, jetlag. 

On our 2nd day back, we went to Target, World Market, Forever 21, and the grocery store. Whoa. I didn't have a meltdown, but I definitely felt the difference with all the visual stimulation and amount of STUFF around me. I haven't purchased more than 5 items of clothing in the last 20 months! Never thought that would ever happen! In Palau, we didn’t have much, but when I stepped into the store I didn’t feel like I needed to buy anything. But the minute I stepped into a store in U.S., I felt the itch to buy things! And I didn’t need any of it! Yikes. I honestly can’t wait to update my wardrobe, but come on, guys. Can I get a little less pressure on my wallet? I just got here! 

One of the best things about this week has been spending time with my family. Time with them is so, so precious and I can’t imagine I survived so long without them! They have given Joey and I the most patient listening ears. They listen to all of our stories and look at our pictures without ever complaining. My mom gets a kick out of every little little Palauan trinket I show her, and it means the world to me. She told me that every time she went to World Market last year, she’d go to the world globes and turn it to Palau to give it a little kiss and send up a quick prayer. How stinking sweet.

I also got to visit some friends this week and it did LOTS of good for my spirits. We had fun laughing and screaming, hugging and catching up, even if it was just for a short time. Coming back and feeling like you have no friends is a real fear when coming back from the mission field, and so feeling loved by friends meant a lot to me. 

Joey and I started also started the very intimidating, very exciting task of hunting for a place to live! We had our ups and downs, and learned a few lessons, but ended it on a very good note. We’re praying and trusting that things will work out just how God wants them to.

Overall, I still have lots of adjustments ahead of me, but I’m happy that I’m back.

To end our first post week, we are traveling up north to visit Joe’s family. Cheers to more sweet reunions and re-entry adventures. 

Xo, 

Rachel 

My Mission Girls

It's amazing how you can not know someone for your whole life, and then it changes instantly once you meet. You can't imagine how life would have been without their laughter, friendship, and presence. 

I just want to give a special shout-out to these Gal's for sharing Palau with me and for being my mission girls for the last two years. These girls have hugged me when my family and friends were thousands of miles away and have shared special memories that will never be forgotten.

It's hard to leave your friends and know that their lives are going on without you and that you may miss big things that happen in their lives. It's even harder, to bond with one group of girls, have to say goodbye to them, and then have to meet and befriend a whole new group. (Kill me now, I stink at making new friends.) I don't know how the locals do it with new missionaries every year.

I felt almost disadvantaged and like I was making friendships in vain at first. Everyone is from a different place and we will most likely never be in the same place again. But something special happens when you put people together. Whether we meet again in Palau or not, I've made some mission friends for life.

2014-2015 Girls 

2015-2016 Girls

Frescinos on the Move

Whelp, the packing in the Frescino house is in full swing. I’ve got my smaller suitcase all zipped up and we have 5 boxes ready to ship. It’s amazing how much stuff people accumulate in two years! 

We’ve lived in our little Palauan apartment for two years and now it is time to pack it all up and move on to the next great adventure. We really want to be able to enjoy our last week here in Palau, so whatever isn’t clothes and being used right now, is being packed.

Palau is special to us. It was our first home. Joey and I moved to here just weeks after getting married. Like just under three, I think. Everyone thought we were a little crazy, and we kind of were, but we made it! Praise God! This home has so many good memories that will never be forgotten. Geckos and all. ;)

Mornings at Palau Mission Academy.

At first, I struggled BIG-TIME with our cinderblock walls. Not exactly a home-y element if you know what I mean. But after some time, I was able to come to terms with them and just let them be. So, I put some christmas lights up on the ceiling, got some framed pictures on our nightstands, and called it home. And for two years, it has been. :) 

T

The view from right outside my door. Across from me is the dorm for students and the Student Missionary apartments. 

My mom contributed to our home by sending me some cute kitchen towels & my mother-in-law sent me scented candles for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Both things seem so small, but were such a blessing in our home and made it feel all the more special. :) Thanks mamas! <3 

Some of last year's decor. 

Some of this year's decor. 

While we were here, my husband learned a bit of carpentry. He saw a need for furniture and a free supply of wood- why not make a few things?! His first project was a nightstand for yours truly, and I LOVED it! I wish I could take it back with me. Isn’t it darling?

Our friend Joe Mixon helping Joey out. Quality guy. 

The next project was a shoe rack. Our shoes were taking over every available corner. Really glad he made this! 

Here I am doing all the easy work. ;) 

Then my husband endeavored into the intricate and challenging task of making a chair. It’s made for a person who is like 10ft tall, but hey, we have another chair now!

Last, but not least was a project for himself. He made a desk. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of this one. I was happy to see my husband busy doing something he loved, and that we had some functional, personal furniture in our house. Yay!

I learned that home is what you make it. There are still more packing to be done, memories to be had, tears to be shed, and blogs to be written before I leave Palau, so off I go!

Xoxo,
Rachel

A Storm Waiting to Happen

I stumbled across this phrase recently in a book called The Love Dare. My husband and I bought it last summer because we heard it was an awesome marriage book, but we just hadn't gotten around to reading it until recently. 

Without giving too much of a spoiler alert, this chapter was about keeping our wits about us and being, well just that, a calming breeze, versus a volcano waiting to erupt. Learning to handle situations with suave and patience, not sudden drama and rage. 

That phrase really got stuck in my head. Is my presence soothing and pleasant to my husband? It is delightful to others around me? So I decided to make an intentional effort to make sure that I'm a "calming breeze." Here's what I resolved to do: 

Save the drama for times that really need it. 

Not everything is a life or death situation. AKA Practice Emotional Self-Control. 

Break up with stress. 

Don't let stress be a third wheel in the relationship. Do more things that make you happy and don't overload your plate with life. It's okay to say "no."

Watch the snowball effect. 

Keep a series of bad events from continuing when you get home by letting it go. Make sure the hubby isn't catching the blunt of your bad attitude because of something that happened at work. Talk it out. Hug it out. Eat some ice cream. Let it go. 

Be self-less. 

Unconditional love says “I love you. Period.” It loves wholeheartedly without expecting anything back. It gives with joy and always seeks the good. 

Let love win. 

Push pride aside and forgive. Let love cover the wrongs. 

Let me tell you, it hasn't always been easy! The Puerto Rican blood in me boils fast and I love to speak my mind. I'm also the queen of exaggerating and drama filled phrases. ("It's a bajillion degrees outside!") 

We've all been in a place when words flew out of our mouths faster than the speed of light, full of passion and hurtful daggers. Afterwards, we find ourselves regretting what we said, and there is a wounded trail of hearts in the room. 

Since I’ve been practicing these things, I’ve seen a change in myself. The stresses of life and the little things that annoy me haven't necessarily changed, but how I’m reacting to them has. I love every bit of it. 

We are amazing creatures with the ability to choose and change, with God’s help. We don’t have to stay the way we are. We control our fuse, our fuse doesn't us. Let's practice making fuses last a little longer. Take a sip of fresh air and chase those storms away, and enjoy the calming breeze. 

Xo,

Rachel 

5 Things I Learned My 1st Year of Marriage

I recently celebrated my one year anniversary with my hubby (woot, woot!). We had a little stay-cation in Florida that included Jet Skiis, Disney, amazing food, lots of relaxing, and all that other good stuff. ;)

I took some time to think back on this year and some of the most important things I learned, hence this post of 5 things I learned my first year of marriage. :) Enjoy!

Marriage is like a mirror.
Being married has taught me to reflect and it has shown me some of my strengths as well as weaknesses and areas of growth (yikes). But, it's great to be married to someone who will help you grow through the tough patches and help you be your best. And of course you are there for him too. :)

Marriage is not like the movies. 
Praise the Lord that it's not! My marriage is real- not filmed in segments, and has a Divine director with the best script (plans) written for the couple. Don't compare your marriage to what happens in the movies, sitcoms, or what you see from your friends marriages on social media.

I am still myself. 

Let me just clarify and say that I never didn't feel like myself. My husband always nourishes my personality and encourages me to do the things I love. But being married is different from being single and it's a role you might not have played before. It might be weird. You might wonder where you went. But you are still here! You are still beautiful you, with just another amazing, fun, role you get to play, a wife. What a blessing. :) I love sharing who I am and the things I love with my husband. We don't have to be clones of each other, we can still be ourselves, and that is a wonderful thing.

YOU are a GOOD thing. :)

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 

Proverbs 18:22 

We are a gift to each other. 
I am so grateful for the gift of marriage! I always have a friend to talk to, someone to cuddle with, and a shoulder to lean on. God created a beautiful thing when he created marriage. Recently, J (my husband), and I have made it a point to ask each other everyday, "How can I serve you, today?" Being married means that I get the opportunity to be a blessing to the man God put in my life and bringing joy to him. The question "How can I serve you today?" is all about being a gift and a blessing to each other.

Time with my husband, by myself, and with my God, is important. 
I love me some quality time with my husband, but I wasn't much of a "me time" girl until after marriage. (Quality time is my love language, hands down.) At first my extroverted-self felt a little guilty for sneaking away for a ukelele jam session, or for a minute to write in my journal. But then I realized that time alone is not a bad thing and it doesn't mean I love my man any less. If anything, I appreciate him more! Take time to take care of yourself. Your husband will be glad you did. :) And lastly, time with God. This isn't always easy, but when I realized my happiness truly stems from time with Him, I started making it a priority. Being connected to God fills my cup and lets it overflow to my loved ones, including my husband. :)

With much love,
Rachel

Inside Out

My sweet husband delighted in the little girl in me and took me to see Inside Out yesterday afternoon. I was so excited. It was such a cute little movie and I just have to give my take on it.

//SPOILER ALERT//

The story is about a sweet girl named Riley whose life has been filled with mostly good, mostly joyful memories. But Riley faces some emotional challenges when she moves to a new city, new school, and new house. 

Her emotions are portrayed by Joy, a joyful spunky thing who is (mostly) always in charge and keeps Riley happy. Fear keeps Riley safe, Disgust gives Riley some sass, Anger is in charge of the temper and of course Sadness, well, sadness seems to never have a place and to only makes things sad...or so it seems. 

During the movie, Joy and Sadness get lost deep inside Riley's mind as she's struggling with all of her tangled and hurting emotions, which leaves Disgust, Anger, and Fear to control Riley's mind. (Yikes) Joy's main priority is to keep Sadness from ruining anymore joyful memories and to get back to headquarters where she can make Riley happy again. But eventually Joy realizes that acknowledging what's making Riley sad might actually helpful in making Riley feel better...

.............

It's important for our kids and society to realize that sadness is OKAY! Not every situation in life calls for joy and exuberance. Sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and even joy, all have their place. Kids need to know that their emotions aren't some freak happenings in their body, but a gift from God to feel and to have a heart. 

I'll admit there's been plenty of times when I'm sad that I make a list of things I'm thankful for. Sometimes making that list can be hard though. I mean, hard times are hard for a reason aren't they? Well, watching this movie made me realize this: when I make a list of things I am thankful/happy for, I'm not denying sadness or anger or any hurt that I may have felt that day. But I'm trying to acknowledge that maybe there can be some joy in every day and am choosing to hold it tight.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 

1 Thessalonians 5:18