Post Palau, Week 1

Last week marked a week since I left Palau. I have thought of it every day. 

It pops in my mind when I see the ABUNDANCE of fresh fruit at the grocery store, when I take my hot shower every day, and pretty much every time I'm in a crowded place.  

The hardest and most common question I’ve gotten since I’ve been back has been: 

How was Palau? 

That’s a loaded question. Where do I even begin? Usually this question comes in passing and theres no WAY I could tell you all about Palau in just a matter of seconds. So my short answer is this: it was a beautiful, challenging, biggest growing experience I’ve had in my life yet, and I wouldn't give it up for the world. 

After the first question usually comes the second one, 

How do I feel?

That’s another loaded question. I’ve felt angry, sad, and anxious. There have been moments when I've felt a little bit like a stranger in my own place. Sometimes its a little bit lonely and you wish that you could bring Palau to your family and friends so that they could truly understand what you’re feeling.  

One thing is for certain, this past week has been a whirlwind.

My family picked us up at the airport with their big smiles and welcome back sign. They’re so cute. We took lots of pictures and talked all over each other like hispanics do and it was fantastic. :) We went to bed way past midnight and woke up at lunch time the next day. Hello, jetlag. 

On our 2nd day back, we went to Target, World Market, Forever 21, and the grocery store. Whoa. I didn't have a meltdown, but I definitely felt the difference with all the visual stimulation and amount of STUFF around me. I haven't purchased more than 5 items of clothing in the last 20 months! Never thought that would ever happen! In Palau, we didn’t have much, but when I stepped into the store I didn’t feel like I needed to buy anything. But the minute I stepped into a store in U.S., I felt the itch to buy things! And I didn’t need any of it! Yikes. I honestly can’t wait to update my wardrobe, but come on, guys. Can I get a little less pressure on my wallet? I just got here! 

One of the best things about this week has been spending time with my family. Time with them is so, so precious and I can’t imagine I survived so long without them! They have given Joey and I the most patient listening ears. They listen to all of our stories and look at our pictures without ever complaining. My mom gets a kick out of every little little Palauan trinket I show her, and it means the world to me. She told me that every time she went to World Market last year, she’d go to the world globes and turn it to Palau to give it a little kiss and send up a quick prayer. How stinking sweet.

I also got to visit some friends this week and it did LOTS of good for my spirits. We had fun laughing and screaming, hugging and catching up, even if it was just for a short time. Coming back and feeling like you have no friends is a real fear when coming back from the mission field, and so feeling loved by friends meant a lot to me. 

Joey and I started also started the very intimidating, very exciting task of hunting for a place to live! We had our ups and downs, and learned a few lessons, but ended it on a very good note. We’re praying and trusting that things will work out just how God wants them to.

Overall, I still have lots of adjustments ahead of me, but I’m happy that I’m back.

To end our first post week, we are traveling up north to visit Joe’s family. Cheers to more sweet reunions and re-entry adventures. 

Xo, 

Rachel 

Life Without Water

Life without water is rough. 

Some of you may or may not know, that my little island home of Palau was experiencing some extreme water shortages and drought. Every day we had “water hours” when the water got turned on for a short amount of time each day. In my town, the water turned on from 6-10pm. Other towns get their water in the morning. 

I’m not going to lie, it was a challenge adjusting to not having water whenever you want. 

We saved water in buckets to make sure we could wash ourselves, the dishes, and flush the toilet during hours that we knew the water wouldn't be on. And after a little “overgrown stomach bacteria” issue I had in my own belly, we now buy our own drinking water instead of drinking from the rain tanks. 

Although it’s annoying and incredibly inconvenient, this season of drought isn’t all bad. I’ve been learning a few things during these dry days.

Preparing water buckets at night taught me to plan ahead so I can take a quick “birdie bath” and flush the toilet in the morning. (We learned that lesson REAL quick when we had no water the first day.) 

This drought is teaching me to not take life’s little things for granted, like running water. 

It’s teaching me not to WASTE water. Because now when it’s on, we treat it like gold. 

It’s teaching me that not everyday will be sunny (or rainy) and both are okay. Seasons come, and seasons go. 

I remember one of my professors from Southern Adventist University, and a little project she did on campus one day. One day there were 5 gallon buckets of water at various spots on campus. She encouraged people to take a bucket, or two, and to walk with it to their next class/drop off station, in order to become aware of people in the world who have to carry all the water they need to use. I delightfully took a bucket because I’m a stinker for things like this, and remember taking a picture with it. As I walked with my bucket, my hands became a little sore. I had to switch hands a couple of times and remember thinking, “Man! People in the world really have to do this!” Here I am about 5 years later, carrying my water from the rain tank to my house! Oh, the irony. 

I absolutely loved the water project that day and I wont mind carrying my water down the sidewalk ever again. 

Life without water is rough. In fact, it’s impossible. 

Water gives life. It cleanses. It purifies. It’s refreshing. 

I’ve discovered that life without Jesus is rough. In fact….it’s quite impossible. I go through periods of life where my priorities don’t always begin with God and after a while, I thirst for Him. I feel the difference without Him. 

I can survive and “make it” but I’m be more like a zombie than a real human being. REAL, invigorating, inspiring life, is impossible without Jesus.

Here are some verses that remind me that God is my living water and source of life. 

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” 

Psalms 51:10 

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” 

Psalms 34:8

May you never live thirsty again, 

Rachel 

March Visitors

This post is long overdue. Its been so hard to get to my computer and write! Any parent/teacher knows that April and May are the craziest months of school. Just a few more weeks left!

Last month brought lots of amazing people to the island of Palau and I felt so lucky and blessed to have spent some time with these wonderful human beings. Seeing friends and family while being a missionary is priceless you guys. PRICELESS.

This is Nicole. She was a student missionary in Palau last year. This girl's got amazing set of pipes, a talent for all things artsy, and a warm way with people. Even though we hadn't seen each other in 10 months, we picked up right where we left off and I absolutely loved every minute I had visiting with her. I wish it could have been more!

Jeanette and Cody! When they told us that they were coming to visit for Spring Break we could barely contain our excitement. It felt like a dream! They got to dive and see the Rock Islands, and we got to watch videos of our niece back home and catch up on family life. Having family visit you on the other side of the world is such a treasure. We couldn't have had a better time with them. 

Allison Banks. This girl. There's nobody more crazy in love with life and all things adventure than this girl. She was another amazing missionary and friend from last year. We laughed, talked for hours, ate good food, all that jazz. After seeing Allison and some of the other former SM's that came back to visit Palau, it became transparently clear that the people I shared Palau with can never be replaced. Spending time with these missionary friends of mine is golden.

Needless to say, my heart was filled with much joy. Till we meet again friends!
Xo,
Rach

Glorious Mornings

Sunday morning, a few people from church wanted to have a sunrise breakfast and devotion at the bridge, so me and a few other missionary girls woke up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise.

We woke up bright and early, drank some double shot espresso from Starbucks and headed on our way. (In case you were wondering, there is no Starbucks in Palau--a friend hooked me up!)

We got there just as these glorious rays started coming over the Rock Islands. It was amazing how everything went from purple to pink to gold and then blue.

After such a slow and beautiful morning, I realized that too many of my days start in a frenzy. I'm always in a hurry, my eyes are groggy, my stomach is growling, and the days demands already press hard on me at 6:30am with a long list of things to do. I kinda wake up grouchy when I know I have so much to do. Horrible, I know.  

But even though I was up at an ungodly hour for a Sunday, it was a GOOD day! I did my report cards, prepped for my sister-in-law and husband who are visiting next week (eek!), took a nap, did laundry, AND watched a movie with the hubby all in one day! I need to say it again. It was a good day. 

So I'm challenging myself to do what I can to have slower, more peaceful mornings. Peaceful mornings lead me to more peaceful and productive days, can't say no to that! That might mean I need to wake up a few minutes earlier so I can eat my breakfast sitting at my table rather than eating it in the car, but it will be worth it. 

Most importantly, I give God credit for my good day. When I made time to seek Him, and in such a beautiful spot, it made everything else fall into place for the rest of the day. I need to remember to dedicate my mornings to Jesus before my feet hit the floor so that I can have more beautiful days like this. 

Heres to more glorious mornings. 

Xo, Rach 

Heaping Mounds of Grace

I messed up at least 1,000 times earlier this week and it let out in the form of tears twice throughout my day. I'm sure there are a few of you who have had those days when you've had to push down the tears at work. Not a fun day.

It started at 6am and continued right until 3pm. By the end of that day I felt irresponsible, untrustworthy, and unprepared. I wanted to put my head in a hole and never come out.

It was a horrible feeling.

But then there was grace.
God sweetly reminded me that no matter how badly we mess up we can always go to Him and that we should also pass this same sweet grace along to others. Because the truth is that we all fall short some days.

I learned my lesson. I want to be able to extend grace to others on those horrible days, because nobody's head belongs in a hole, especially if we are all sinners. We tend to be a little hard on ourselves. We need to give ourselves a little bit of grace.

I shared the story of my day with my colleagues at staff worship later on in the week, and it became so very clear. Everyone is in need of grace. The kind of grace that washes over us and gives us peace and assurance that somebody loves us no matter what. Our world has a huge need. Our world NEEDS grace. We are too quick to judge and complain. We should be responding with grace.

We live in a world where everything has to be earned: our vacation time, our position at work, our airline mileage rewards. But grace doesn't have to be earned. It can't be earned. Grace is a gift. That gift is free and its yours and mine today.

"For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast." 

Ephesians 2:8,9

Grace, upon grace, upon grace. Heaping mounds of sweet and savory grace.
Thank you Jesus.

"From His fullness we have all received grace upon grace." 

John 1:16

The Island of Ngemeliis

I FINALLY got good enough internet to upload and save pictures to this post, so here it is!!

Labor Day weekend the teachers and staff at the SDA Schools here in Palau all got together for the yearly Spiritual Retreat. We take the time to refocus and re-energize by escaping to the beautiful island of Ngemeliis in the Rock Islands.

Ngemeliis is literally the paradise you have always imagined. The Palauan blue water, the sunsets, the palm trees, the coconuts. Whoa, the coconuts. There are coconuts on every palm, ripe and ready to drink. Shout out to Mr. Paloma. The man could be on survivor and win the whole thing. He got down all the coconuts we wanted that weekend--thank you!

Most of all, I love unplugging and recharging with Jesus. Being in the middle of nowhere, under thousands of stars, always brings my wandering heart back to Jesus.

Sabbath afternoon we lathered up in sunscreen and walked around the island. On the walk, we took a hike up to the Ranger's Station and got an amazing Bird's Eye view of the island right as the sun was beginning to set. I'm a sucker for warm breezes and breathtaking views. It reminded me of when I climbed to the top of the Duomo in Florence, Italy in 2011. TAKE ME BACK.

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You would think that living on an island, thousands of miles away at sea, without a TV and much internet, you wouldn't be very distracted. And it does help to refocus your life, but distractions happen to everyone. 

Sitting under thousands of stars made me feel so small. And yet, I had to remember that the God who spoke stars also holds me with His mighty hands. If He can hold the universe in place, He can sure take hold of my crazy little universe I call my life. 

I'm so glad that I had the chance to escape from our little town of Koror and the busy life of a teacher, to find my quiet place with Jesus. 

Look for Him in everything. 

Find your quiet place with him. 

xo, rachel 

Teaching with 5 Loaves & 2 Fish

This week all of the teachers have been preparing for school to start on MONDAY (yikes) and it has truly been a blur. Every morning and evening the missionaries get together to have a worship. Lord knows we all need it. 

The other day one of the missionaries shared a worship thought on Jesus feeding the 5,000. It was so beautiful that I almost choked up and felt the need to share it again in my own words. 

If you grew up with the Bible, you are probably familiar with the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. If you didn't and even if you did, let's do a quick summary...

Jesus had drawn away to a private place after some earlier events in Matthew 14. But Jesus was loved by the people and they followed him. Having the big heart that Jesus had, when he saw them, he had compassion on them, and healed the ones who were sick. 

As evening was approaching, Jesus' disciples urged him to tell the people to go home. They needed to eat, and there was obviously nothing here for a crowd that big (5,000+). But again, Jesus insisted that the people stay. Maybe there was some food in the crowd. So he sent his disciples to go into the crowd and search for food. 

(I'm sure they searched half-heartedly. I mean, come' on.) So they came back to Jesus with 5 loaves of bread, and 2 fish. Definitely not a buffet fit for 5,000 people. But Jesus blessed the food and began breaking bread and dividing it into baskets to feed the people. 

After the disciples had gone around to distribute the food, they came back with TWELVE full baskets. LEFTOVERS. The people were FULL. Just off of 5 loaves and 2 fish. The Bible says that "They all ate and were satisfied." Matthew 14:13-21 

I still can't wrap my mind around how such little food fed so many people. I'm thinking about the little food in my cupboard right now and am fighting anxiety--I need to go grocery shopping! 

But seriously...this story speaks to not only God's amazing power and compassion for people, but of His ability to do amazing things, with whatever we may have. 

I am starting my 3rd year of teaching and I still feel like my knowledge and efforts add up to 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Put on top of that the fact that I work in a mission school where mentors and resources are very far and in-between, and sometimes just not available. I feel like there's no way I can feed or teach 20 students this year. It would take a miracle. 

Can God really do something amazing through me in my classroom and in my life with my measly efforts? My faith tells me the answer is YES. And I need to remind myself of that daily. God can do amazing things with you no matter what you have going for you. Whatever you have is more than enough for Him to work with. Single mom? He'll be by your side. Financial pinch? He'll make it stretch. Hurting heart? He has just the thing for that. 

Give God your 5 loaves and 2 fish. Allow Him to bless it. Watch Him multiply what you have and satisfy your life. He can do miracles. 

What will He do with your 5 loaves and 2 fish? Give it to Him, wait and see. 

-Rachel 

Beautiful People

Well, I am back in Palau!
I've been itching to blog since the minute I got here-- I have so many things I want to share!  Can't wait to pump them out! :)

Somewhere in between 4 long flights, multiple security checks, and many long lines on my way to and from the motherland (USA) this summer, I had a thoughtful moment: People are beautiful.

The awesome thing about airports is that people from all over the world gather in this one little hub to go on their next journey. Each person that comes has a life, people they love, and a place in society. We marvel at how snowflakes are all different and how two zebras will never have the same pattern of stripes. But how often do we marvel at ourselves? 

So I decided to check out people (in the least creepy way possible). I stopped to soak in the diverse pool of beautiful people around me in the Guam Airport: Asian, Chamorro, Palauan, Hawaiian, Filipino. Big eyes, slanted eyes, soft eyes, and darker-than-night almond eyes. No two people were the same. 

I stopped to look for the beauty in each face, and soon remembered that my vision is flawed. I can only see skin-deep. But God...God can see that person's beautiful soul, right down to the core. He made every person with passions, desires, talents, and dreams. He made every person with a purpose. (Jeremiah 29:11) 

When I look at people like this, like the beautiful people they are, as valuable, precious, God-breathed and purpose-filled people, something inside me stirs. Something stirs me to be a little kinder, a little more patient, a little more loving. I want to remember that each person, is a handmade, carefully crafted, personal extension of God's heart. 

How could I not be amazed?

"WE are God's workmanship..." 

Ephesians 2:10